Shortly before his death, Joan Vassos’ husband urged her to embrace life without him.
Millions of viewers watched Vassos, 63, search for love as a contestant on ABC’s “The Golden Bachelor.” Then they saw her get engaged as the star of “The Golden Bachelorette.”
Throughout her stint on the popular “Bachelor” spinoff shows focusing on contestants in their late 50s and older, fans found solace and hope in Vassos’ story about searching for love again after losing her husband, John, a Rockville businessman, to pancreatic cancer in 2021.
“Pancreatic cancer was not on my radar,” she said. “I didn’t know anybody who had ever had it. The only person I remember passing away from it was Patrick Swayze, so he was just an anomaly.”
Vassos’ story also caught the attention of the nonprofit Pancreatic Cancer Action Network, which invited her to join its work to raise awareness and funds.
John Vassos was one of more than 56,000 Americans diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2019. It’s the third-deadliest type of cancer behind lung and colorectal, but Joan Vassos says there’s a lack of awareness.
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She’s serving as a PanCAN ambassador at its annual PurpleStride charity walk in D.C. on Saturday, where she aims to raise $50,000 for research and patient support. It’s her second year as ambassador. Vassos says she plans to do it “forever” in memory of her late husband.
The two were married for 32 years and shared four children. John Vassos, who was born in Washington, owned and operated consulting firms BCE Corp. and CapX Solutions, and was a philanthropist and volunteer football coach at his alma mater, Potomac’s Bullis School.
“He was just the most giving person. He was so generous. He was all about taking care of other people,” Joan Vassos said. “So I thought this is the perfect way to honor him.”
She’s joined by her “whole big fat Greek family,” this year, consisting of her children, John’s mother and sister, fellow “Golden Bachelor” alum Nancy Hulkower and players from the lacrosse team at Bullis, where her son-in-law Noah is on the coaching staff. Vassos’ fiancé, Chock Chapple, whom she got engaged to on the show, is busy working in his home state of Kansas.
“There is a part of me that is, like, ‘this is a special time for my family.’ We honor John, and I don’t want to drag Chock into that,” she added. “I just feel like it’s a good time for our family to hunker down and talk about John and honor his memory.”
Life after ‘The Golden Bachelorette’
Vassos graduated from the University of Maryland with a degree in computer science and, prior to “The Golden Bachelorette,” served as an administrator at Landon School in Bethesda.
Life has been a whirlwind since Vassos bestowed her “final rose” upon Chapple, 62, in the show’s season finale in 2024.
“It’s been crazy. I’ve had such a good time,” Vassos said. “When you get into the second half of your life, you never think that your life is going to change that much at that point. You’ve created a career; your family is raised; you’re kind of where you are in life. And that has been so different for me, and it’s nothing I ever expected.”
She made her Broadway debut last year in a one-night-only appearance in Disney’s “Aladdin,” playing the matchmaking Fortune Teller. She sat behind Miley Cyrus a few weeks ago at the iHeartRadio Music Awards. And she’s keeping her fingers crossed for a chance to join the cast of “Dancing with the Stars” this fall.
Vassos also remains involved with the extended “Bachelor” franchise, most recently appearing on HGTV’s “Bachelor Mansion Takeover” design competition show, as well as a “Bachelorette” reunion special that aired last month.
It was supposed to be a preview of the upcoming “Bachelorette” season, starring “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” star Taylor Frankie Paul. But, following domestic violence allegations between Paul and her ex-boyfriend, Dakota Mortensen, the network canceled the season.
Vassos concurred that stepping away from the limelight was the best move for Paul.
“I think that would have just added trauma to an already pretty volatile situation,” Vassos said.
“She needs to be in a good place to be a good mother and maybe one day find love. I certainly don’t think it’s with the guy she’s with right now, and I think she knows that. But I think she’s trying.”
At home in Rockville
After busy days of travel, press and posting online to her more than 200,000 social media followers, Vassos gets to come home to Rockville and spend time with loved ones.
She’s a frequent patron of the city’s Mykonos Grill. And Brooklyn’s Deli serves a grilled chicken sandwich called “The Vassos,” named after John — though many mistake it as Joan’s namesake. (“We call it our family sandwich,” she said.)
Her relationship with Chapple continues long distance while he’s working in Wichita and she’s in Maryland. They frequently travel together and visit each other’s home base — Chapple was in Rockville this month to celebrate Easter with Vassos’ family.
“The Golden Bachelor” franchise was built on the idea that it’s possible to find love later in life. Vassos did, and she hopes others can find inspiration in her journey.
“I do hear from people all the time that they didn’t think that, when you got to this age, that finding love seemed impossible,” she said. “I found it. It’s not impossible, and you don’t have to go on national TV to do it.”
But the most meaningful role she has filled in the aftermath of her reality-TV stardom is using her spotlight to showcase what matters to her.
“My voice is a little bigger than it ever was before, and I get to use it for some good,” she said. “That is probably the best thing that ever came from this.”
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