The Baltimore firefighter with a beautiful voice and strong family values

Raeford “Ray” Earl Gaskins Sr. knew he couldn’t continue with college when he came home for break and saw his little sister chopping up firewood in the backyard.

He was still a teenager himself, but the scene stirred something in him. It was only his mother, sister and niece at the family’s North Carolina farm. They might not ask him for it, but he knew they needed his help. So he quit school to support them.

“That was the greatest sacrifice I think anyone could make for somebody else,” said his sister, Barbara Gaskins, five years his junior. “He was just helpful to everybody. He’d give the shirt off his back to somebody. He was just that kind of a guy.”

Gaskins kept that mentality when he moved to Baltimore a few years later and spent two decades as a firefighter. He maintained it when his two kids were born, and again when he stepped into a fatherly role for his grandchildren. His loved ones say they will never forget his kindness and attention.

Gaskins, most recently a resident of Gwynn Oak, died Oct. 17 of natural causes. He was 87.

He was born Aug. 4, 1939, the 11th of Roy and Georgianna Gaskins’ 13 children. The tight-knit family lived on a 33-acre farm in Kinston, North Carolina, where their lives revolved around church and music.

Ray was still in grade school when his father died. As the years went on, his older siblings went off to start their own lives, and Ray was excited to begin his. He enjoyed learning carpentry and creating a gospel quartet with three of his brothers. He was a tenor.

After high school, he enrolled at North Carolina A&T State University, where he stayed for about a year or two before his heart called him home. He spent a few years at the farm before moving to D.C., where some family members lived, and then Baltimore for job opportunities in his mid-20s.

He worked as a firefighter at Engine 29 in Park Heights, got married and had two children, Annette and Ray Gaskins Jr. The family was wealthier than many other Black residents at the time, and Ray Sr. always reminded them to be thankful for their resources, said his grandson, Malcolm Ruff.

“He would not hesitate to talk about, and to praise, God for all the blessings that he had received, all the things that he had spared him from,” said Ruff, an attorney and Democratic state delegate.

He also felt fortunate to be a leader at the fire department and inspired other Black men to join him, said Martha Ruff, Malcolm’s mother. He ended his career in an administrative role.

“I think they looked up to him as someone who was there and got in and was saying, ‘Come on, you try too,’” Martha Ruff said.

He retired after 21 years and lived off his pension for the remainder of his life.

He got divorced and then remarried. He met the future Alice Gaskins in 1986; the two sang in their church choir. Alice had a boyfriend at the time, but Ray Sr. was persistent. He’d ask her every six months if they were still together. Eventually, they broke up.

On their first date in 1987, Ray Sr. took Alice to see Bill Cosby perform at Morgan State University. They were married months later. Alice’s introverted tendencies balanced Ray Sr.’s outgoing personality. They moved to Gwynn Oak.

The couple filled days with bowling tournaments and vacations. Among Alice’s favorite trips were their honeymoon to Niagara Falls and a cruise to the Dominican Republic. They drove back to the North Carolina farm every year for family reunions, at which Ray Sr. made his famous fried fish.

While Alice was at work, Ray Sr. devoted his time to ‘honey-do services’ — lots of projects and hands-on tasks around the house. He loved gardening and landscaping.

“What was so special about our marriage to me was that he never stopped dating me,” Alice said.

The couple were congregants at Colonial Baptist Church in Randallstown, and Ray Sr. also became a deacon at Mt. Hope Baptist Church.

He met friend José Anderson at Colonial about 20 years ago. Ray Sr. encouraged him to join the men’s choir, and Anderson was struck by Ray Sr.’s skills: “He could raise a cruise ship with his voice,” he said.

Anderson came to know his friend as a family man who enjoyed cooking for others and learning about their lives. He always offered help when he could, whether by lending out his truck or giving life advice. Though he had no formal leadership position in the choir, people looked to him as the head of the group.

“That’s real leadership — when no one has to wonder whether or not you speak as an authority, because people respect [you],” Anderson said. “He spoke as a man of authority.”

He worked to pass those traits to his grandson, Malcolm Ruff, who is now running for state senator.

Malcolm said his father, Ray Jr., was a traveling jazz musician and wasn’t present for most of his or his brother’s lives. Ray Sr. stepped up to the plate. He enlisted a young Malcolm’s help to finish his basement, showered him with gifts and taught him to drive.

When Malcolm wanted to go to law school, his grandparents co-signed his loans to make it possible. And Ray Sr. made sure to ask Anderson, a law professor at the University of Baltimore, to keep an eye on his grandson there.

“My grandfather made me a man built for others,” Malcolm said.

Ray Sr. was a father figure for many in their extended family, and sometimes non-relatives, Malcolm said. He never asked for anything in return for his compassion. It earned him the nickname “Uncle Daddy.”

“He exemplified true manhood,” Malcolm said. “He made it clear to me that men show their emotions, that they show people how they feel about each other.”

He told his grandson he loved him at the end of every conversation.

A viewing will take place Friday, 5-8 p.m. at Wylie Funeral Home in Baltimore County. Funeral services will follow at Colonial Baptist Church the next morning.

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