One full week, Monday through Friday, from that first glorious bell at 8:30 to the last at 3:30. Is that really too much to ask?

Apparently, yes. Yet another work week is beginning, and the children are not at school. There are pancake crumbs on the floor and a drizzle of syrup across the table and yelling and angry thumps upstairs during “virtual school.”

It’s not that I think the school system made a bad call today. It’s slippery and slushy and Lord knows we Baltimoreans aren’t great at driving in snow.

It’s the principle of the thing: The children never go to school.

That’s hyperbole, of course. But the truth is that my three children, like other Baltimore County public school students, have only attended two full weeks of school since winter began on Dec. 20. The surrounding school systems have followed similar schedules.

Now it’s the fourth week of February and parents are tired. And children, at least around this house, are semi-feral.

First came winter break, 10 days when being cooped up at home together was a sweet change of pace. We played board games and did puzzles and drank cocoa and cooked big meals. At night, I floated on a haze of “Heated Rivalry” and felt truly relaxed.

Martin Luther King weekend was also delightful. We took a quick trip to whoosh down the waterslides at Great Wolf Lodge. Winter wasn’t so bad, was it? Then late January humbled us.

First came a foot of snow, then a heavy layer of ice that morphed into snowcrete in bitter cold. The kids deemed the icy snow unsleddable. They were stuck inside through three true snow days, then two days of virtual learning, with breaks for shoveling.

I began the snow days joyfully, crafting homemade soap with the kids and their friends, supervising baking projects and arranging playdates. But by the end of the week — after five days of cooking three meals and countless snacks, running the dishwasher twice daily and drying multiple loads of winter gear while also trying to do my actual job — I felt like Jack Nicholson at the end of “The Shining,” moaning unintelligibly in a winter hellscape.

Like many working moms, I often feel like I am doing neither the working nor the momming very well. I tell myself the opposite, though: Loving my career makes me a better mother, and being a parent broadens my perspective as a journalist.

But lately I have not really excelled at either. Because the children almost never have a full week of school.

After the snowcrete, we had two days with late starts and then an early dismissal for a storm that never really materialized. It was very cold and the snowcrete was too hard and slippery to play on. It was a miserable stretch of winter.

And the kids had more time off from school. Presidents Day. The Lunar New Year. A half day last Friday to just really mess with us.

It’s now the end of February and Mother Nature decides to knife us in the back. How about some solidarity with your fellow parents, Mother Nature?

It is anarchy around here. The children are munching through snacks like termites eating an old fence post. There are crumbs, kinetic sand and glitter wedged in every crack in this house.

Speaking of cracks, there are more of them because the children keep fighting and throwing things. Also more dents. Random smudges.

I realize we are very fortunate and our problems are insignificant compared to those faced by many other families. For many, snow days force impossible choices: Call out of work and lose income, or leave children unsupervised?

My spouse and I are fortunate that we can both work from home. My mother-in-law often helps out on snow days. We are lucky to have jobs, a home, food and good public schools.

I love my children so much my heart could burst. They are wonderful people — bright and funny and kind. I would walk through fire for them. But I cannot make them another round of quesadillas.

We just really need them to go back to school.

One full week of school, and then another, and another. You can do it, Baltimore County! One foot in front of the other.

As for us parents, we will drink coffee in peace and do the jobs that pay us. (While also juggling softball practice, club soccer, drama club, swim team, orthodontist appointments and summer camp sign-ups.)

We won’t have long to drink our coffee uninterrupted, though.

Spring break is only 5 1/2 weeks away.