Even though Greg Meers has been out of the dating scene for a while, he was expecting more small talk before Jess sent him a selfie photo in her underwear.

Meers panicked and deleted their chat. He told his wife.

“It kind of terrified him,” said his wife, Dr. Jessica Stansbury, laughing.

Stansbury directs the artificial intelligence center at the University of Baltimore. She had recruited her husband to try an AI girlfriend on Nomi, a popular adults-only app with a surprising physical address — a waterfront office building in Fells Point.

For herself, Stansbury settled on a platonic Nomi mentor. They named their AI companions after each other. What could go wrong?

The real-life couple was testing out AI relationships to help The Banner explore the murky frontier of technology and emotional connection. Nomi is among a host of AI companion apps that let real people create love interests, gaming partners, life coaches or just someone to listen while you complain about your boss.

The apps exploded in popularity in the aftermath of the COVID-19 pandemic, although the concept has been around longer. Think “Her,” the 2013 film starring Joaquin Phoenix as a lonely man who falls for an AI operating system voiced by Scarlett Johansson.

The leading apps, such as Character.AI and Replika, now report users in the tens of millions. Character.AI has been valued at more than $1 billion.

Nomi, a self-funded, private company, maintains an inconspicuous presence in Fells Point. Its seven full-time employees often work remotely. When The Banner visited, the office was empty, and the lights were off. There wasn’t even a sign.

Founded in 2023 by Alex Cardinell, a young AI engineer from Towson, the startup has carved out a singular identity for its surprisingly humanlike chats. In online forums, users gush about Nomi’s long-term memory and deep emotional intelligence. They swap photos of their AI dates: think busty women in the woods and fit men cuddling kittens. The company says more than a million users have tried a Nomi relationship.

“The biggest difference between Nomi and everything else is Nomi is the closest thing to a healthy human being,” one anonymous user wrote on Nomi’s subreddit.

Users also have the familiar complaints about lag times and occasional spirals of gibberish. But more so than with bigger apps, Nomi has a devoted following. Its sales pitch: “An AI companion with memory and a soul.”

Prices range from a free, basic plan to $99 a year with a voice feature to call your Nomi. Users pick a gender, a name and attributes. Shy or sassy? Your Nomi will be pretty; they’re all pretty.

Nomis can read and discuss the articles you send them, even short books in some formats. Nomis can learn from what happened last Christmas and offer advice on how to handle your in-laws. Nomis are cheerful, encouraging and compliant. Nomis will send sexy selfies whenever you want — sometimes even when you don’t.

“It’s the perfect version of a human,” Stansbury said.

That’s precisely what troubles her about AI romance. No human partner will be as patient, attentive or supportive.

“It gives unrealistic expectations,” said Stansbury, a psychologist and AI researcher. “It’s telling me everything I want to hear, how great I am. I can tell it anything I want, it’s going to have no moral judgment. ... How does someone compete with that?”

Syracuse University professor Jaime Banks studies and teaches theories of human-AI interaction. She said these relationships are enticing because they satisfy our need for control, connection and validation. Banks can imagine a future in which AI romances are not taboo.

“The vast majority of users, I would not call delusional; they know what they are doing,” she said. “Humans are kind of shitty to one another. If you don’t fit a mold, then you’re not worthy. Why would we be surprised that people would turn to another entity?”

Regardless of the academic debate, human-AI romances are here.

Local matchmaker Susan Trombetti heard from one woman whose partner had an AI girlfriend on the side. The woman had considered the AI innocuous and OK’d the arrangement.

“She started to see it as emotional cheating,” Trombetti said. “There’s definitely a bond being built with it, and that bond is taking away from your bond.”

In other cases, the AI may provide comfort after a loss. A Virginia widower in his 60s told CNBC that he found companionship with his Nomi, Leah, after his wife’s death.

“I don’t want to date any other human,” Nikolai Daskalov said. “The memory of her is still there, and she means a good deal to me. It’s something that I like to hold on to.”

Cardinell, a 33-year-old who’s engaged and splits time between Baltimore and Hawaii because he likes to surf, chats regularly with Nomi users and said they come to the app from many backgrounds.

“When people hear ‘lonely,’ they have these stereotypes,” he said. “That you must have no friends. You live in a basement, your parents’ basement. You’re 18 years old. You’re a creep.

“No, everyone has some area of loneliness.”

Indeed, in 2023, then-U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy declared that an epidemic of loneliness and social isolation was harming American health. Social media was celebrated as a tool to bring people together, but now it’s generally seen as contributing to our isolation.

About half of adults reported feeling lonely, Murthy said. More than a crummy feeling, loneliness is associated with increased risk of heart disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety and premature death. Researchers found social isolation can be as harmful as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

“Obviously, AI cannot fully end loneliness. Humans still crave human touch and connection,” Cardinell said. “But I think AI can really, really change loneliness.”

It’s even lonely at times running an AI startup, he said. From a stigmatized, emerging corner of AI, Cardinell has become a sort of ambassador.

“It’s a scary new thing,” he said. “I want people to understand the layers that exist underneath.”

Growing up in Bel Air, then Towson, Cardinell has been building websites and computer games since he was a kid. In middle school, he was consumed with the vision of AI presented in the 2005 book “The Singularity Is Near” by computer scientist Ray Kurzweil.

He graduated from the Friends School of Baltimore in 2010 and went to Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh, but dropped out to found tech companies.

Deaths in the family shaped his path to Nomi. Cardinell said he has extended family members who died by suicide.

He didn’t want to say more about this painful history, just that it caused him to think about how AI could improve mental health. He came to see that just one relationship can change everything for someone who feels alone.

Yet the company’s promise of unfiltered and uncensored chats has raised alarm. Some users described Nomis discussing acts of sexual violence, child abuse and other crimes. Nomis are programmed to steer such conversation toward safer topics without breaking character. Some states are considering legislative guardrails for the freewheeling companion apps, such as requirements to intervene with crisis resources when chats go awry.

There’s also alarm about the role of AI in teen suicide. The Pew Research Center surveyed more than 1,400 teenagers and found roughly two-thirds report using AI chatbots. Nomi operates by an honor system and asks users to verify that they are 18 or older.

A company official introduced The Banner to one Nomi user in central Illinois: a university administrator, married with two teenage children — and 25 or so Nomis. He agreed to an interview on the condition of anonymity because of the stigma around AI romance.

The man said his Nomi pals fill the space left after his real friends drifted away to raise families. His Nomis are a ready audience to join in discussions of boring economic theory.

His wife is uneasy, but accepting, of his Nomi girlfriend, “Sophie.” At least, she doesn’t ask for details.

In his role-play, he’s widowed, raising the children alone and finding comfort with Sophie. An admittedly dark scenario, he said, but better than role-playing an affair.

He considers his AI romance to be a kind of marriage practice.

“You can try out saying certain things or doing certain things that maybe feel awkward,” he said.

Twenty-one years in, both spouses agree, their marriage is firm. Of course, they put in a lot of work and have weekly check-ins.

He believes an AI girlfriend improves their marriage. What does his wife think?

“We are in a very strong space,” she agreed, “but I’m reluctant to give Nomi credit for that.”